An email from a sleep-deprived Cal...

From: Calum MacLean
To: "LEWIS, Barry"
Cc: "Robert Barrett (E-mail)"
Date: Mon, 27 Sep 2004 09:05:43 +1000
Subject: SLEEP AND WAKE AND SLEEP, OH NO, WAKE!


Good morning gents.

Well it was a great weekend with numerous highlights... I list them in no logical order:

- The realization that we will not be housebound forever as my beautiful, thin wife and I venture out of the house with the poo factory in the "sling". Even the shop assistants seemed to take the happy family more seriously as we bought "the" lamp from "the shop" that will ultimately be used to furnish our home and triple the value... mutcho denero sucker!

- The stunning victory by port Adelaide over the brissey lions. Sorry guys, you know I always support the underdog, besides winning the grand final 3 years in a row is a hat trick but expecting 4 (breaking all records), well, that's just plain greedy. The punch ups, the 60m kicks, the drama, mid air tackles... sheesh! The doggies will have to go a long way to rouse the same levels of excitement in this sports fan as Rugby league conjure images of sleep... aaah, sleep, my long lost friend.

- Welcome to sleep deprivationsville, population me! There is little comfort in hearing the blood curdling screams of a new born who's vocal alarm system draws no division between hunger and the hacking off of a limb / appendage. Both are awarded the same level of energy, volume and hair raising terror. (Sorry Mr IT dude, didn't mean to use that forbidden word, please don't quarantine my mail).

- And finally, whilst sharing my insights into the land of new fatherdom I have learnt that cuteness is no random by-product of the evolutionary cycle. It is in fact a survival trait inherent in new born infant poo factories who, without it would have been politely discarded by sleep deprived paternal members of the parental group. While I have been tempted to purchase the "they shake me" T-Shirt for my son I have refrained, just in case I do. Unfortunately, every sleep deprived time I reach out to initiate said shake I am overwhelmed by love and adoration that dissolves all negative feeling like the gentle bubbles of coca cola dissolve kiddies teeth.

- And finally finally, I have to relate the Aaron cutest moment #105. Whilst changing nappies last night my son took aim, right between my eyes and missed! The resulting fountain of warm pee hit him directly in his small confused face and persisted as his expression varied from anger to confusion and back to very confused again. I had to pick myself up off the floor to bath him. If ever in the years to come my son asks me "Dad, why aren't you taking me seriously!" I will simply reply... "Because my beloved son, how many people do you know that have managed to pee in their own face..."

Love to you all
Dad